Debunking the Biggest Myths about Unschooling

This article is an appeal to invite you to think differently from the way they have been trying to impose on us for so many years.

There is no such thing as “right” or “wrong”, only what is best for each individual. The most comfortable and popular solution is often not the best one. Our contributor Juliana is a staunch opponent of the system of indoctrination by forced abduction called school, and advocates the alternative of unschooling:

Unfortunately, this Is Nothing New

Have you ever talked to someone and asked them if what they learned in school was good, practical, or necessary for them? With this simple question you will leave them speechless.

What do people remember positively about school? Maybe one or two nice friends, or a couple of favourite teachers… but what about the content, the structure, the method, or the duration? You will not find a positive word about it.

We have never heard anyone say that school has been worthwhile or that they have become better, “smarter”, or “more cultured” people because of it.

It is very clear to us that school is “not worth it”, but nobody dares to speak out, to look for alternatives or to break the vicious circle. Unfortunately, we live in a society where “going to school” is not controversial —mainly because it is compulsory, just like the taxes your government makes you pay. It is easier to do what is familiar and socially accepted, what “everyone else does”: my parents went to school, my grandparents went to school….

The State keeps trying to whitewash the narrative regarding schooling by telling the people that it brings education to all their children, like an omnipotent god, and sells it as a RIGHT. Education, healthcare, housing, etc. are not natural rights, but services —however enshrined in constitutions. Someone must pay for them and someone must work for them. Rights are never about third parties serving you or creating added value for you: that is called a service and it has a price. A right, on the other hand, is innate by definition. This is why we want to emphasise the distinction between rights and services: while rights are inherent, services must be provided and paid for.

The Real Problems

It is important to understand what really needs to be “learned”.

The nitrogen cycle? fifteenth degree equations and their integrals? the acceleration of gravity on Venus and the mass of Saturn’s rings? the colour of Napoleon Bonaparte’s trousers? the lake located between Wyoming, Nevada and Oregon? how many cavities in a mitochondrion? The Latin names of animals? multi-cellular eukaryotic organisms of the plant kingdom? the chemical and physical weathering of rocks? required readings by authors who died more than 200 years ago and whose content has only a vague connection to the present day?

This is nothing more than a way of frying, burning, and punishing children’s neurons, and a method of breaking their willpower; the result of which (a fixed, standardised grade) is nothing less than a judgement of the child’s own personality: excellent, good, average, poor or mediocre. This is only exacerbated when comparisons with “classmates” come into play, resulting only in competition, alienation, and bullying.

All of this can be investigated in depth if you are interested, and represents a high degree of disconnection from reality.

Even more so now that we have powerful tools at our fingertips that make life so much easier so that we can spend more time on self-care and sowing our own happiness, rather than knowing the entire chemical periodic table or all the prime numbers, or using the full capacity of our brains to memorise useless facts by force and forget them after two days.

Many parents say that if a child has a natural curiosity and interest in a subject, they will study it on their own and fill themselves with knowledge without any need for compulsion.

“OK, but what about the contact and socialisation school provides?”

School Friends

What is friendship?

Two (or more) people coming together to engage in a particular activity based on a common interest of both parties and whose mutual interaction promotes the well-being, safety, fun, convenience, and comfort of both.

Friends you have at school “may” fit the above description, but what they usually have in common is that they share with you age and location/neighbourhood/place of residence… and nothing else! That alone should not even be called friendship. It is forced, like everything the State does by pushing people’s lives against the wall: it is all forced circumstances that you have to accept without any possible opposition.

The problem is that the emphasis has always been on the collective rather than the individual. Firstly, children are grouped according to their year of birth, which in itself is a mistake —if only because children born in January of a given year are very different from those born in December of the same year. Some children develop faster than others, some take a little longer and/or sometimes do not develop as well as others, some develop better in a particular environment, and so on. The problem is that these facts become “deficits” and “weaknesses” of children in the eyes of the system.

Socialisation is absolutely crucial and necessary. Putting children in the same room just because they are the same age and live in the same neighbourhood, and forcing them to interact with each other is NOT THE WAY TO DEVELOP THEIR SOCIAL SKILLS.

Being surrounded by children is anything but “Great! Look how lucky: lots of little friends for you to play with”, when the child is feeling completely isolated, out of place and in the wrong place. Forced schooling, imposed routine, irrelevant compulsory subjects, and forced friendships only lead to stress, neglect, conflict, peer pressure, marginalisation, bullying, diminished self-esteem, avoidance in the digital world, etc.

The child does not know “other children” and does not realise that they do not necessarily have to make friends with their schoolmates, so they try to fit into the pattern in order to be accepted by their environment. The fear of rejection starts already at this tender age, because these friendships are not based on a common interest, and the child may carry this modus operandi with him for the rest of their life.

Normally, the child will always have contact with the “same group of people”: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, the same classmates, the same teachers… all unchanging. Contact with different people and children of different ages is much more enriching than constant contact with the same people. Children are inspired by their elders and encourage the younger ones to develop by setting an example. Children of the same age often compete with each other, which leads to unhealthy behaviour and attacks on personality and self-esteem. Prejudices and traumas are minimised or even resolved when balanced and nurturing exchanges take place.

Staying in the same familiar circle (the comfort zone) will always be an obstacle to full development, because everything is based on fear, anxiety, rejection, stress, or panic of the unknown —as if everything unknown is automatically bad. Myths are always propagated by people who have no knowledge about a particular subject, because they have been taught since childhood to be afraid of the “unknown” and the “different”. The unknown only remains the unknown as long as it is unfamiliar.

Even children’s intelligence is tested when they realise, for example, how they have to treat others to get what they want and how they have to behave. When they have diverse encounters with different people, they are forced to learn again and again how to interpret the new languages and behaviours of others, and THAT is what really enriches their social skills.

Does a Child Need to Go to School?

Let us look at some “necessary” skills and competences for a child:

• Motor skills (walking, running, jumping, skipping, hopping, squatting) and body balance
• Conception of space and time, and their management
• Body perception
• Literacy (reading, writing and interpreting texts)
• Mastering the relationship between letters and sounds
• Phonological awareness
• Identification of objects, colours, and images
• Memory
• Numeracy skills
• Social skills (interacting, respecting, sharing, listening, cooperating, understanding, negotiating)

Now let us take a look at some skills that are not included in the school curriculum and cannot be encouraged or imposed, but are extremely important for the child’s development:

Self-awareness and self-development:

• Consciousness and perception
• Intention behind the personal action
• Intuition as a guide and signal
• Self-control in difficult situations
• Personality awareness
• Self-awareness and self-confidence in expression
• Personal responsibility
• Body care as an expression of self-esteem
• Meditation and emotional control
• Mindfulness

Interpersonal skills and social intelligence:

• Empathy in interpersonal relations
• Respect for oneself and others as a core value
• Negotiation skills in interactions
• Ability to analyse how people think and what motivates them, why they do what they do, and what characterises them.
• Communication and its articulations, forms, and gestures
• Understanding of body language
• Social intelligence in the face of diversity
• Respect for differences

Problem solving and critical thinking:

• Logical, methodical, practical, and pragmatic approaches
• Conflict resolution strategies
• Capacity for judgement
• Critical thinking
• Autonomy in problem solving
• Understanding of the concepts of direct and indirect cause and effect

Emotional intelligence and self-management:

• Stress management
• Recognising and overcoming fears
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Self-defence skills
• Self-protection and security
• Resilience and anti-fragility
• Psychological defence mechanisms, their meaning and application
• Recognising and coping with trauma and traumatic effects

Lifestyle and personal growth:

• Value creation and readiness
• Self-care practices
• Danger awareness
• Understanding of different contexts
• Understanding of different motives
• Genuine desires (or lack of desires) versus duty and obligation
• Internal triggers and self-monitoring mechanisms
• Joy of discovery and exploratory spirit
• Discovering and pursuing genuine interests, hobbies, and passions
• Exploiting and nurturing talent
• Observation and curiosity as drivers of knowledge
• Honesty as a principle
• Assumption of responsibility for body, mind, and other people
• Independence in everyday life
• Recognising and building on one’s strengths
• Nutrition, health, and well-being
• Building healthy lifestyles
• Mobility and ergonomics awareness
• Creativity as a source of innovation

Planning for the future and strategic competencies

• Financial literacy and foresight for the future
• Strategic thinking and planning
• Short-, medium-, and long-term thinking
• Ability to prioritise one’s own lifestyle
• Personal initiative

Social and cultural perspectives:

• Interaction with people in social, cultural, economic, and political spheres
• Innovation, invention, and reinvention
• Feeling of belonging to oneself beyond social expectations

It is about stimulating and treating each child on an individual level to find the best method of teaching and learning!

The problem is that school is “community” and “collective” (typical concepts of state culture), indoctrination, training, standardisation, imposed routine (to be a good taxpayer tomorrow), punishment, “right versus wrong”, and “that is life: everybody does it this way, so do not dare to be different”. The school system is not interested in the individuality, pace and speed of each child, the differences and needs of the pupils, cultural and social enrichment, creativity, unconventional thinking, and doing things “differently”.

That is why school teaches the “basic” and “shallow”, but not the “deep”.

Efforts are never directed at the child, but at “what is easier and more convenient” for the institutions and teachers.

In other words, children do not “need” school, as they can better acquire these skills and competences outside institutions without the disadvantages of school as it is conceived today.

Today’s concept of school is due to the fact that many parents —the vast majority, in fact— have to work in the mornings and need to leave their children with someone so that they are not alone; and “leaving the child at school” still gives them the feeling of “doing the right thing for my child”, rather than leaving them in bed late in the morning or allowing them to spend the morning in front of the TV (because unfortunately, when a child does not go to school, everything is dramatized and they are automatically labelled as lazy).

What if your child is a professional skater who is repressed by the school? What if your child really wants to open a hairdressing salon or go hiking in national parks? Will they have to suffer the repression of the school system throughout their whole childhood? The sooner you free them from that burden, the better.

Make no mistake: we are not against education, quite the contrary. If anyone here is in favour of education, it is us, but real education is a very different thing from compulsory education imposed by the State without any possible alternative or space for opposition, counter-proposal, or input. Nor are we directly against schools, but rather against the current laws by which educational institutions must unfortunately be governed.

Necessary Evil

It is hard to understand why unschooling (or free education) is not globally accepted, and why so many people disagree with it without even knowing what it actually is.

Before going into the benefits of free education, we would like to point out that the current school model is NOT GOOD and brings MUCH MORE PROBLEMS than BENEFITS. Therefore, any other model that is better than the current one should be considered a triumph.

Secondly, this whole model of paperwork, degrees and diplomas is completely out of touch with reality. Our content creator Juliana studied production engineering for years, and honestly, the years she spent hitting the books and burning her brains are completely wasted. And all to get a job and pay taxes, because without a useless piece of paper called a diploma, she would not even have had access to an internship or a permanent job.

Juliana argues that we spend more than a decade of our lives vegetating in schools, wasting our time, and undermining our potential; which prevents us from growing in the most convenient and optimal way.

In other words, school is nothing but a necessary evil. Without her Sixth Form, Juliana would not have been able to go to university and would not have got a job. What a relief, right?

Fortunately for us, this absurd obsession with certificates and degrees is changing dramatically, as the internet now allows for financial, temporal, and geographical independence; and also for automation and replacing of many types of jobs. Information that used to be kept under lock and key, to which very few had access, and for which large sums of money had to be paid (student loans being the most common in certain countries) is now accessible to everyone with a few clicks or even from the phone in your pocket.

Today there are many more people earning money in alternative ways, with much easier and more flexible methods than the typical 9 to 5 job. Today there is much more emphasis on experience, people skills, problem solving, productivity and initiative. Being “in the right place at the right time” and “knowing the right people” are much more important keys than having a framed piece of paper on the wall with your name on it.

The truth is that you do not need any of the socially-accepted requirements to be successful, happy, and become a good person.

In other words, this “necessary evil” ceases to be truly “necessary”, and remains simply “evil”.

Let us now turn to the “evil” that is the school and/or the education system.

School and university are “highly valued” because of the lack of choice. Period.

If there were no obligation to send children to school and there were different ways of educating them that were more satisfying and even fun, who would go to school as we know it today?

Remember, if there is something that needs to be imposed —especially under threat of fines, deprivation of liberty, and violation of private property— there is a 99.999999999999% (if not 100%) chance that it is NOT good. If that something was really GOOD and everyone saw value in it as GOOD without threat or coercion, there would be no need to impose it by force.

Juliana always asks parents: do you want your children to be good, self-confident people or repressed people who are constantly forced to do things they may not care about, who follow the herd mentality and obey teachers in order to memorise facts, pass exams and thus maintain the image of the “good, obedient pupil who does not give problems and headaches”?

Where do you learn the most and the best?

• Over X years sitting in a chair, reading books and slides or copying theory from the blackboard in a completely vacuous way?

or

• Over X years of participating in countless projects, living every day in the field, gaining field experience, testing new contexts and applying theory in practice, deepening and learning from experience, dealing with real situations, interacting with experts in the field, and going abroad?

You do not learn to swim by reading the theory in a book: you have to get in the pool and start swimming.

That is why we are in favour of unschooling.

The Potential of Out-of-schooling for Personal Growth and Social Skills

Homeschooling and unschooling are two educational approaches that differ in their structure, approach, and delivery; although both take place outside traditional education systems. Homeschooling usually follows a curriculum or educational standards that may be similar to those of public or private schools. Parents or guardians choose or create curricula that meet the educational requirements of the country or region to which they belong.

In many cases, homeschooling involves regular assessments or tests to measure pupils’ progress and ensure that they are “meeting educational standards”. The aim is often to provide pupils with a comprehensive education at home that is equivalent or complementary to traditional teaching methods.

Unschooling, however, is characterised by a high degree of flexibility and lack of structure. There is no set curriculum, but the learning process follows the interests and curiosity of the learner. As a rule, unschooling dispenses with traditional methods of assessment, such as examinations or grades. Progress is measured by personal development, skills achieved and knowledge acquired, rather than by a standardised grading system.

Parents or guardians act more as mediators or mentors, providing resources and support rather than direct teaching. They encourage the learner’s independence and initiative. The main aim of unschooling is to promote assimilation of learning, self-motivation, and self-determination. It emphasises learning as a natural and stimulating process, closely linked to the learner’s personal interests and needs.

Homeschooling is already much better than the current model in itself, even if it is sometimes completely restricted by countries of residence. Unschooling follows a highly individualised and interest-based approach, which emphasises personal initiative and self-determination.

The above-mentioned skills and competences can be perfectly combined through unschooling.

We encourage all families to actively and consciously participate in the educational process of their children. Active participation does not mean sending them to school believing that this is all the child needs, but rather fostering a continuous learning environment and stimulating the child’s curiosity.

It must be recognised that education does not only take place within the classroom, but that all areas of life offer a myriad of learning opportunities. We strongly believe that every child is unique and that education should be flexible enough to support and encourage this uniqueness. Through unschooling we can create an educational environment that emphasises creativity, critical thinking, and a love of lifelong learning.

Unschooling depends on the child’s personality and drive, and this is a good thing, because it eliminates the Manichean duality of right versus wrong: the child should be free to develop in the direction that interests them the most, without repression by any institution. Unschooling offers many opportunities to face challenges and learn from mistakes, which contributes to the development of resilience.

However, it also requires a great deal of flexibility and cooperation from parents, who not only have to manage family life and their relationship with their children in the most convenient way, but also want to be actively involved in their healthy development.

Let us Now Turn to the Myths of Unschooling.

Unschooling stems from the inability to adjust to traditional education systems.

Unschooling is a conscious choice based on the belief that self-directed learning is more effective and satisfying, not on an inability to adapt. Personally, we do not want our children to adapt to an outdated system that does not work.

Unschooling is an escape from the harsh realities and challenges of life.

Unschooling prepares pupils for life with a practical approach, self-determination, and the ability to search for and process information, because now more than ever, EVERYTHING —absolutely EVERYTHING— can be learned autonomously on the Internet.

Unschooling is an isolated form of education without community peer support.

Those who say this have not realised that social contact is extremely important in unschooling and, as explained above, not only contact with people known to the child’s comfort zone or age group.

If a child becomes isolated, it will not be the fault of unschooling, it will be the fault of the parents, who have not done enough to give the child a quality education that includes sufficient contact with other people!

Unschooling is less demanding than traditional education.

Unschooling can be very demanding, as pupils delve deeper into subjects that interest them and carry out complex projects and research on their own. Think, for example, of people who love craft projects: they are highly committed to their projects, and use the right tools to exploit their creativity OUTSIDE SCHOOL. The truth is that real life has a lot to offer beyond the school walls.

Unschooling means that children play all day and do not learn anything serious.

Children only enjoy themselves when they play, full stop. It is like sugar for them: no one has to force a child to play, right? On the contrary, it is hard to get them to go to bed or to eat willingly and brush their teeth when all they want to do is play. Who says you cannot learn knowledge and skills in the enjoyable and stimulating way they feel when they play? And how can they like learning like that? Because you do not have to impose it on them! Play is an important form of learning that fosters critical thinking, creativity, and problem-solving skills. Children who enjoy free learning engage in serious projects and interests and learn through play.

Unschooling hinders the development of discipline and responsibility

Unschooling fosters self-motivation and personal responsibility, as pupils set and pursue their own goals and objectives. There is a lot of discipline in unschooling; discipline based on instinctive motivations rather than external impositions. External constraints are part of life, yes, but they are not everything. The problem with normative education is that for institutions there are only imposed obligations.

Unschooling leads to gaps in various fields of knowledge and incomplete education.

Having “knowledge gaps” in irrelevant and useless subjects seems more of an advantage than a problem. Although unschooled students do not use the same curriculum as pupils in traditional schools, they often acquire in-depth knowledge in the areas they are interested in and learn to search for information on their own.

Unschooled pupils never take level tests or examinations and therefore their level of knowledge cannot be assessed.

Evaluate for what? To what end? Tell us what all the things you have learned at school, all the marks you have received throughout your life, have brought you. Do you honestly feel that they have benefited you in any way? Examinations only exist to standardise children and clip their wings so that they cannot fly and develop their unique potential.

What is the point of getting a good grade because you have memorised all the content by rote instead of “learning” and “understanding” it? And what good is the memorised content if you are not able to apply it? With unschooling, your child’s life, needs, and interests become the “tests” and “assessments” of the lessons learned.

Parents must be experts in all subjects for unschooling to work.

Above all, parents must want the learning to work and be truly useful: they must want to make it happen. No one has to be super-talented to teach their children, because no complex subjects are covered during free learning. Instead, the child learns the lessons according to their interests and needs. Parents should offer their children space and flexibility, motivation and appreciation, provide them with the necessary opportunities, possibilities and materials, and keep showing them that they have the power in their hands to be and do what they are interested in with joy and enthusiasm.

And if the child really wants to learn how to calculate the mass of Saturn’s rings, parents will surely find a way to teach it to them.

Out-of-school pupils find it difficult to enter the labour market.

Those who have benefited from a free education tend to develop unique skills, self-motivation, and adaptability —all qualities highly valued by employers. This is because they probably know from childhood what they want and what they like, and they choose their work WITH DETERMINATION and not to please society or with an eye to the payday. They know how to set healthy boundaries so that no one exploits them at work or makes them feel inferior —something children do not learn in school. The child is forced to play with their peers, whether they are good to him and for him or not.

Unschooling means that parents must teach their child all the time.

Whoever comes out with this kind of statement has also failed to understand what free education really means: parents are mentors or mediators, not teachers. The autonomy to learn comes from the child —i.e. the curriculum is not made by the parents. Although parents play a supportive role in the child’s free education, the emphasis is on self-directed learning, for which parents provide resources and facilitate learning opportunities.

Out-of-school pupils are socially isolated and have no friends.

We have already explained this: out-of-school children often have the opportunity to interact with a wider and more diverse community than those who study in school. This community includes peers, adults, and experts; resulting in richer social experiences. If a child becomes isolated, it is not the fault of unschooling, but of the parents, who are not trying hard enough to generate these much-needed social interactions.

Out-of-school students cannot enter formal tertiary education or study at university.

Many out-of-school students successfully participate in higher education by passing entrance exams, attending community colleges, or creating portfolios with which to gain admission to universities. They can obtain formal qualifications and certificates through examinations, online courses, and other educational pathways. In other words, they will find a creative way to achieve their goals, because this is a talent that is best learned and mastered through free education.

Unschooling requires the family to have a high income.

Each family provides the child with what they can and what suits their financial situation. If parents are really committed, they can offer their child a complete and excellent free education even with “very little”. It is only a matter of intention and will.

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How many children turn to toxic substances, bad company, and rebellious attitudes during their adolescence to compensate for the stress they feel or to get their parents’ attention?

Think about it: after all, they are children, right? They do not work, they just study, they do not have to take care of household expenses, they do not have children, they do not have a job… how can they have so much stress? Indeed: the source of so much stress is school (or some aspect related to school). The difference is that children do not know how to manage so much stress and problems because they are still maturing and learning.

Nowadays, there is much more awareness of psychological problems, and notice that they ALL start in childhood. And what does a child experience in childhood besides the family environment at home? Exactly, school.

Contact us to find out more about the world of unschooling and how to give your children this amazing opportunity. Free your family from the constraints of the forced school indoctrination system.